Guide to Mother's Day
Making Men Newsletter #21
We need to talk about Mother’s Day. I know you may be wondering why this topic is coming at you this early in the month, and the reason is that I don’t want you to be one of those men who haphazardly try to throw something together at the last minute. This group of men is better than that, and I have some ideas on how to help you honor the mothers in your life on their special day.
But first…
What is Mother’s Day anyway?
Mother’s Day is held as a mark of respect and honor to the woman. It is also a show of love and respect to the mothers in our lives for their contribution to building a better home. On Mother’s Day, people take time out to appreciate their mothers for their immense contributions to our lives. Our relationship with our mothers is in most cases more substantial than any other in our life.
The Mother’s Day celebration dates back to 1908 when Anna Jarvis, a common activist organized a memorial in honor of her mother. Anna Jarvis used to work as a peace activist who was saddled with the responsibility of caring for wounded soldiers during the American Civil War.
The location today holds the International Mother’s Day Shrine. Anna was the first to make an effort to raise funds for the celebration of Mother’s Day in the US. After the death of Anna’s mother in 1905, she took steps to make the celebration a worldwide event. She intended to honor all the mothers of the earth for their contribution to our society.
In 1911, almost all US states began celebrating Mother’s Day and made it a national holiday. West Virginia, the home place of Jarvis, became the first to make Mother’s Day a state holiday. As time passed, the 2nd Sunday of May was fixed as a day to remember all mothers. In 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation in respect to Mother’s Day.
Over time, more countries began to adopt the date to celebrate mothers, and today, every country in the world celebrates Mother’s Day.
How to celebrate the Mothers in your life
So let’s talk about how to celebrate the mothers in your life on their special day. The first thing you need to do is recognize how many mothers there actually are in your life. Depending on your age, this can range from a few to a lot. You may have your wife, mother, mother-in-law, married daughters, daughters-in-law, grandmothers, and granddaughters who are mothers. You should make an effort to recognize them all on this day, and that’s where things can get tricky.
In my opinion, your own mother and your wife are the ones you need to concentrate on the most. A card is an absolute must for these two ladies. And you can’t just sign the card. You need to write a personalized message inside each one. You also need to help your kids supply cards as well. Whether they be store-bought or handmade, you’re the one responsible for making sure there is a card for your wife from the kiddos. Even if you have teenage kids or kids out on their own, you need to give them a reminder that the day is coming up and they should get a card for their mother.
The next crucial thing to talk about is the gift. Flowers are usually a good choice for most mothers. But some women don’t care a thing about flowers, so you need to have an idea for an alternate gift. As an example, my wife could care less about flowers. But one of her favorite things to do in this world is read a book. So in lieu of flowers, I pick up a new book for her. It’s like a pass for her to take an afternoon off from her normal daily routine and pamper herself by lying on the couch and reading this new book. Each woman is going to be different, but just recognize what the lady in your life likes and tailor the gift to her fancies.
A card and a gift are a nice start, but you also need to plan an event to celebrate the day. This is a step a lot of men skip, but let me tell you, the trifecta of a card, a gift, AND an event is going to make the woman in your life swoon.
What do I mean by an “event”? Here are some examples:
make your wife breakfast in bed
go to church with your mother
take your wife to a movie
go out for dinner
I myself have always been fond of the dinner option. I’m not one that likes to stray too far from home, so my making an effort to go out to eat is seen as making a big effort on Mother’s Day. And I’ve always made it truly an event by including all of the mothers in the dinner. My wife, my mother when she was able to go, my mother-in-law before she passed, and my wife’s grandmother. It was a celebration dinner for all the mothers in my life, and they all enjoyed it very much every year.
Pick whatever event suits the ladies in your life, but try to plan something as an event for the day.
Now let’s talk about the other mothers in your life outside of these core few. You may have daughters or granddaughters that are mothers. You may have sisters that are mothers, or other ladies that are mothers. If you have daughters, you should get a card for them too to show your love for them and your admiration for them being a mother. For sisters and such, I suggest giving them a quick call on Mother’s Day. It will mean a lot to them to hear from you on their special day.
If you’re a man who is divorced, and have kids with your ex-wife, then this next part may hurt a little. But you should also send a card or give a call to your ex above and beyond what you help your kid do for her. I’d say your kids are one of the greatest joys of your life, and you would not have that joy without their mother. You may not like it, but at the very least send her a text message wishing her a happy Mother’s Day and thank her for helping bring your kid into the world.
And I want to stress how the proper handling of Mother’s Day will reflect upon you as a man. When it comes to holidays, most males tend to be guys. They think writing a personal note in a card or giving someone a call is too sentimental. Most women expect this behavior too. You can use this line of thinking by both parties to set yourself apart as a man. It will mean that much more to your ladies since they weren’t expecting it. Remember, fun is how a guy measures how he will do something. A man does things because it’s the right thing to do. Man up and put your feelings in a card and a phone call.
One last thing to remember about celebrating Mother’s Day, and this one is very important so make a note somewhere about this if you have to. The bar you set on Mother’s Day is the bar your wife will try to live up to a month later on Father’s Day. Sow a good crop on Mother’s Day, and you’ll reap a good harvest on Father’s Day ;)
- Mick