Being Reliable
Making Men Newsletter #22
I want to use today’s post to talk about a character trait that is in short supply in young men today…reliability.
Let me share with you the benefits of being a reliable man…
When you're reliable, you can build deeper and stronger relationships
Relationships are built on trust. Whether they be romantic relationships, friendships, or relationships at work, what makes them or breaks them is trust. Being reliable builds that trust. Friends, colleagues, and loved ones know they can count on you to keep your word…that you’ll be there when you say you’ll be…and do what you say you’ll do.
You can make people feel secure when you’re the same man day after day, no matter what the situation. Without steady reliability in your mood and behavior, people may begin to withdraw from you. They need to trust that you won’t shower them with affection one day, and then belittle them the next. When they can rely on you to generally be the same man day in and day out, they trust you, and stronger connections are built on that trust.
When you’re reliable, you receive greater opportunities
When people see that you can be relied upon, you will be given more challenging opportunities and responsibilities that in turn allow you to grow, learn, and become a leader. A boss will promote a reliable man to higher positions. Or in a sports analogy, a team will pick a reliable man to be its captain.
When you’re reliable, you’re given more freedom
I you’re unreliable, you’ll constantly be watched. Your boss will be constantly looking over your shoulder making sure you’re doing your job. You’ll be scrutinized to see if you’ve made another mistake. Your parents will be checking in on you frequently as well. But a reliable man receives far less supervision and is given greater responsibility. Your boss, your parents, and everyone else knows that if given a rough outline of what needs to be done, you’ll find a way to do it, and do it well, in your own way.
When you’re reliable, you gain a reputation for integrity
The simple definition of the word integrity is this: integrity is who you are when no one is watching. It implies that you do the right things because that’s just who you are. When you have a reputation for integrity people don’t have to wonder what version of you they will get from day to day. They know you are someone they can count on.
When you’re reliable, you live with confidence and a clear conscience
By always doing your duty, keeping your promises, and fulfilling your obligations you’re free from the regret that haunts less dependable men. Not only can other people count on you, but you can count on yourself. And when you can count on yourself, that leads to the confidence to take on greater challenges and adventures.
When you’re reliable, you can lead a simpler life
When you’re the same man in every situation you don’t have to think up excuses for breaking promises. You don’t have to live with the regret of letting other people down. When you’re reliable, you can enjoy a level of simplicity in your life that others are always searching for.
Those are just a few of the benefits that come with being a reliable man. Now let’s look at how you achieve that reliability.
Keep your promises
Being a man of your word is the backbone of being reliable. If you tell someone you’re going to do something and get it done in a certain amount of time, then you need to do whatever it takes to fulfill that promise. Even when you don’t feel like doing it, or something better to do seems to come along, you still have to keep your promise.
Don’t overpromise
A promise is a valuable thing when it comes from a reliable man because everyone knows it will be fulfilled. Because of this, you will find yourself being asked by others to take on more responsibilities and offered more opportunities. With this comes more requests than you can fill. Being reliable doesn’t mean saying yes to everyone. In actuality, it means the opposite. You have to use discretion when making promises. You have to know your limits and not put yourself in a position to disappoint people by not being able to keep your promise. That’s when you start losing your reliability.
Manage expectations
Always be careful and realistic about when and what you can deliver on. Inflated expectations can lead to disappointment.
If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well
That saying has been around for centuries, but it’s still just as true today as it’s ever been. Always strive to do your best work whether the job is important, menial, or mindless. Some people feel that it’s ok to just rush through something if they feel like it’s beneath them, but a reliable man takes pride in his work no matter what it is. If a man can’t be trusted with little things, he will never be trusted with big things.
Stay consistent
Being consistent is a huge part of being reliable. If you lack consistency, you’ll never gain the trust of others and have them build faith in you. You develop consistency by setting goals for yourself that challenge you but are doable day in and day out.
Be honest
Always say what you mean, and don’t try to be something you’re not. Most of the time this applies to money and intelligence. You should never be ashamed to say “I can’t afford it” if someone proposes something beyond your means. And don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” instead of making up answers to questions you’re asked.
Don’t let circumstances dictate your behavior
Your values and ethics should never hinge on your circumstances. A reliable man is the same man no matter the situation and makes the most of whatever hand he is dealt. A reliable man isn’t one man with a group of friends or colleagues, and then another man with a different group.
Be there
Be at work on time. Go to the party you promised to attend. Go to the concert your friend’s band is playing at. Even when you haven’t promised someone that you’ll be there if they need you, be there. Being reliable means that when a friend needs support, he doesn’t even have to ask you or wonder if you’ll show up. He can say with certainty, “he’ll be here.”
I can’t stress enough to you young men out there just how important it is to be reliable in life. You may not believe me now, but I assure you, your future and all it holds depends on your reliability. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t push it to the back of your mind. Be conscious and mindful of it. Protect it and grow it, and you’ll grow a great future for yourself.
- Mick